Thursday, March 30, 2017

BONASW

I had the great privilege of being invited to attend a Botswana National Association of Social Workers conference to celebrate International Social Workers Day! I traveled to Serowe for a two day event that included a Leadership Forum. There were Social Workers from all over Botswana who worked for government, non government organizations, in hospitals, and in small rural villages. These incredible individuals were passionate about their work. They welcomed me with open arms. 

On Friday we celebrated International Social Workers Day with a formal event with social workers and members of the community, including a speech from the guest of honor, Dr. John Victor Rautenbach, an active leader in the international social work community, from South Africa. He spoke on this year’s theme: Community and Environmental Sustainability. He discussed the changes globalization has brought to social work as well as social and environmental interdependency. We must use sustainable development to build healthy communities, government policies, and social program. We must focus on improving access to water and sanitation as well as clean and renewable energy. It is through sustainability that social issues can be addressed. Although social work is a human rights profession, he argued that we must expand to animal and environmental rights and that while we challenge structural inequalities we must also influence environmental policies. I was lucky to spend much of the weekend picking his brain about the field and his experiences and research, as well as two Doctors of Social Work from Botswana, Dr. Maripe, and Dr. Jongman. I feel like I am still a fresh green seed in the world of social work, and I am always hungry for knowledge and perspective into the profession and our roles around the world. It was a wonderful learning experience for me. 

Another inspiring speaker came from an NGO, Love Botswana, to remind us of the importance of our profession. She stressed monitoring and evaluation of interventions as well as circles of support to best serve clients. We are all fighting the same war, she remarked while discussing different entities working to help clinets. She stressed the importance of committing to all aspects of social work, not just what the community sees us as doing. Her final pieces of advice centered around mobilizing within the community so you are visible to them and training at the workplace to improve confidence and quality of work. Her pride in her profession was profound and she was met with resounding applause. 

Our long day of speeches was concluded with a vote of thanks. I’ll leave you with my favorite quote.

“It’s time for social workers, the foot soldiers of… civilization, to stand up together and save ourselves.” -Dr. Maripe


Saturday was a leadership forum for the social workers in the organization. Dr. Jongman presented a motivating talk on Human Rights and the Code of Ethics in the field of social work. Some of the violations he saw within Botswana included treatment of people with disabilities, the LGBTQ community, and commercial sex workers, the parody of less privileged people on TV, and child abuse. He impressed upon us the importance of our standards and our code of ethics to differentiate us from other professions. Values we must be adhering to include service, respect for the inherent dignity and worth of a person, social justice, integrity, competence, importance of human relationships, and engaging people as partners in the helping process. He asked us to claim our space as social workers by taking ourselves seriously. His talk increased my pride to be a social worker and helped me see that much work is still to be done in the world of social work. 

Dr. Ratenbach then took the floor to speak about his leadership style. His presentation was simple and impactful and it left us with the following points:
-The answer is always a default YES
-If you get the vision, you get the job
-Praise publicly, correct privately
-Leadership is not about control
-Respond immediately
-Do things once
-Simplify
-Delegate
-Facilitate a team attitude
-Not being afraid to ask for help
-People first
-Communicate, communicate, communicate
-If it’s not broken, don’t fix it
-Clarity

The leadership tips helped me to think about my own leadership style and to reflect on what I do that works and what I could do to improve. I also thought a lot about how I can help others to improve their leadership skills and how I can help my students embody this type of leadership style. 

After these great presentations, it was my turn! I was asked to present on Self Care as an important tool for Social Workers. I LOVE to talk about self care and to help people plan their own self care, so this was a perfect topic to present. I was most definitely nervous as I was following two distinguished speakers who have had many more years of experience in the field, but I was happy to be spreading self care to all. As social workers, the work is undoubtably emotionally, physically, and mentally taxing, day in and day out. The risk of secondary trauma (having symptoms of trauma due to helping others work through their own trauma) and burnout (no longer being able to work as a social worker due to extreme emotional exhaustion, lack of motivation, lack of interest or belief in ability etc) is very high with social workers. One way to combat these problems is through self care, or intentional acts done to help better your health. 

There are 6 common categories of self care. The following are examples under each category from www.olgaphoneix.com Self-Care Wheel:
Physical: exercise, eat healthy, be sexual, massages, take a walk, me time
Psychological: self-reflection, therapy, journal, garden, support group, positive thinking, sensory engagement
Emotional: affirmations, cry, social justice engagement, laugh, watch a funny movie, find a hobby
Spiritual: go into nature, sing, dance, play, be inspired, meditate, yoga, play with children
Personal: plan short and long-term goals, learn who you are, make a vision board, relax, spend time with loved ones
Professional: set boundaries, leave work at work, get regular supervision, take mental health days, learn to say no, take all vacation and sick days

The group worked with me to name self care strategies they could use in their daily lives to stay healthy and continue to be their best self at work and in life. I encourage you to also think about your own self care and come up with strategies you can use. You must believe you ARE worthy of self care, and prioritize it in your life. You can not take care of others unless you have taken care of yourself first. This is a lesson I have been trying to learn for a long time. 

My self care in Peace Corps is crucial to my success as a volunteer. I could not have made it the past 600+ days without nurturing myself. That includes yoga, dance, at least 5 fruits or veggies every day, getting a full night sleep or taking a nap, taking mini breaks thorough out the day that involve chatting with a friend or being in nature, journaling nightly, watching comedies and staying away from violence, disengaging from people who are trying to provoke me, regular calls home to see my nieces and nephews, coloring, listening to music, taking vacations, spending at least one weekend a month at a friends, turning off fb and twitter notifications, long baths, reading novels, morning and evening routines, and always listening to my body. 

I got great feedback on my presentation and I was happy to help fellow social workers start to think about their own self care. 

After the forum, four of us went to Khama Rhino Sanctuary nearby to go on a game drive. Rhino’s are one of the Big 5 (Elephant, Leopard, Rhino, Buffalo, Lion) animals. It was the only one I had not seen yet in Botswana! Rhino’s are poached for their horns which are sold mainly in asian markets as ivory. They were poached nearly to extinction. Botswana tried to save them by taking the few remaining rhinos in country and moving them to a sanctuary. They now have 40 rhinos! We saw around 15 while we were in the game reserve, including one that was less than 6 months old. They are incredibly powerful animals and it was an amazing site to see. I love being on game drives. All of the stress of the world melts away and I feel an excited bliss, similar to the serene calm I experience at the ocean. Being in nature is one of my top self care strategies that I neglect too often. I was so grateful for the opportunity. 


We ended the conference with a braai and dance party for the whole group. I’ve gotten pretty good at picking up the different dance moves common here with popular music, but my knees haven’t quite gotten used to the strain. Nevertheless, it was an awesome night with great new friends. I saw sad to drive home the next day and have to say Go Siame to so many wonderful social workers. What a great weekend of professional, spiritual, and personal self care. 

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

"I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way..."

A month back a friend said to me "I know, you're sensitive" as a way to explain away my reaction to his statement.

A few weeks ago I told a friend that I thought I was suddenly much more sensitive, she reassured me by saying "no sweetie, you've always been this sensitive, you just forgot for a little while."

This morning a friend told me someone had called her sensitive and it was bugging her. Sensitivity Stigma! she proclaimed.

I sat thinking about that phrase. Sensitivity Stigma. Am I really that sensitive? Is it a bad thing if I am? Does it impact me negatively? Is it a part of who I am? Can I change it? Should I change it?

In 2012 when the school shootings seemed to never end a friend would remind me not to spend too much time following the news. He saw me get sucked into the 24/7 cycle and dragged down into the depths of despair time and time again.

I hear criticism like a sharp knife, cutting out small parts of me without my consent. I freeze in the face of anger and shut down at disappointment.

For 12 years my friends have come to me for advice about their lives and my sensitivity has allowed me to listen to their hearts without judgement, to open walls between us, to empathize with their struggles.

I feel so much. All the time. I am stuffed full of emotions that pour out of every inch of me. If my heart has connected with another there is no way for me to block off the signals it shouts across the tether.

My emotions have scared away the avoidants, Terrified of the intensity.

My sensitivity embraces connections. Incredible, life changing relationships with people from every walk of life. With love to spread and lessons to share. Strong, secure connections that support me and guide me every step of the way. Breathing life into me.

It makes it easier for me to be gaslit, to be ignored, to be underappreciated, to be abused, to be undervalued, to be underestimated.

My sensitivity makes me better at my job. At educating. At listening. At counseling. At supporting. At encouraging. At developing. At understanding. At loving. At forgiving. At growing.

I have to cry and laugh and sing and dance. I have to love. I have to connect with nature and travel the world and see the goodness. I have to see food as love and cooking as love and smiling as love and spending time as love and hugs as love and affirmations as love. I journal and reflect. I prioritize my family and friends. I take naps. I celebrate success. I spread positivity. I love.

Without sensitivity, a core, critical part of my essence would be lost from the world.

So yes. I am sensitive. There is nothing wrong with that.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Silence, Explained

There is a gentle sweet release that comes from feeling like yourself again. It's the moment you acknowledge you have broken free of the hold that this episode of depression or anxiety had over your being. The moment I realize I have managed to swim through the storm, dragging my reluctant being through the turbulent waters each and every day, knowing intuitively that there had to be an end even when I couldn't see it. I spend weeks blaming every bad day, every mood swing, every snooze on a person, a situation, myself, until I write and I write and the pattern emerges that can only be one thing: depression. Once I recognize it-- the way it steals into my soul and ices my core, the way it isolates me from my support system and whispers lies about me until I believe them, the way it weighs my body and mind down with cinder blocks-- I start to try to explain it. To reason with it. To blame myself for it's comfortable seat in my heart. I try logic and persuasion to get it to leave. I try pushing through and giving up. I start to reach out to friends, undermining reality, trying to convince both them and myself that it isn't as bad as it is. I'm fine. Of course. But. Maybe I need a bit more love.

Maybe it's because I can't read the news all weekend or maybe it's because I have long phone calls with my best friends. Maybe it's all the time I let myself sleep or get lost in YA novels about young love. Maybe it's because I read through my last month of journal entries or because I wrote for 5 pages on Sunday. Maybe it's the sunshine or the HP dream or the apple crisp and caramel I made from scratch. Maybe it's from choosing to accept my situation rather than fight it, from finding things to look forward to rather than missing somewhere I'm not, from letting go of a grudge and replacing it with gratitude that someone is in my life. Maybe my brain chemicals just shifted.

Whatever it was. This morning I woke up from more than a good nights sleep. I woke up from the nightmare that is depression. The sparkle and shine are here again. And I truly feel relief. I didn't lose myself. Here I am. Ready.

Join me in destigmatizing mental illness.

February in 22 Entries, A Sampling

  1. There is a clear difference between when I've been on social media and when I haven't
  2. It seems like we're all having some bumps in the road right now.
  3. At least I'm home now and i can just walk to the store tommorow for groceries.
  4. Some days I don't see a soul and others it's like I talk to half the village.
  5. Life is different here, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Especially if it helps me see what it is in life that I really need, and what I can do without.
  6. It makes me anxious.
  7. Sometimes, an argument is what you need.
  8. Friendship is so important in service. And in life. I'm lucky for mine.
  9. I do best when I can shine my bright light out.
  10. Sometimes you home to see yourself through the eyes of the people who love you most to see you need to work harder to give yourself the love and care you deserve always.
  11. I walked a ton after work today but it felt great.
  12. I'm a lot more restless inside my house than I used to be. Am I over the self improvement aspect of service or am I that much needier for socialization time that makes me feel rejuvinated.
  13. I can count on one hand the number of people who contact me regularly
  14. Insane dreams where I have to go n stag with an ensemble but no one will tell me what's going on or show me the part. I end up yelling. Furious, frustrated, and a little scared.
  15. I can feel I'm itching for more.
  16. Maybe I've lost sight of why I'm here
  17. It's rewarding to have so many students say hello to me, telling me about their days, showing me their grades, telling me about the small and big things happening in their lives.
  18. I love how silly Joiywn and I are with each other
  19. I'm in my childhood nightmares.
  20. Maybe something I said clicked today. Maybe.
  21. The effort is in the holding on.
  22. Humor is the light. It connects. It enlightens. When I am relying on generators, they are refueled by laughter.