Fill Up Your Own Cup

I've been thinking a lot today about self care. I'm back to a full work schedule and the third and final term of the school year is going to be a long and hectic one. I'm also in the period of service that is considered the "Mid Service Crisis."

Observe the chart:

Who knows what my MSC will look like or if it will be during the usual timeframe, but ever the one to prepare and prevent, I have been doing a lot of soul searching about what I want out of life and a lot of planning about what I want out of this next term in school. And in the midst of all of that I have found myself with the usual chaotic circumstances of people in my personal and professional life going through life's ups and downs. 

So this brings us back to self care. 

Earlier in the week I was reading a teen magazine that was delivered to our school for all the students and one of the articles was talking about filling your own kindness cup first before you can fill someone else's. This has stuck with me hourly through a week that has literally felt like I am holding on for dear life every hour. I have come home from work every day with my cup completely drained from classes, guidance sessions, event planning, and meetings. That's when I plug into the world and I see people near and dear to me suffering through their own life problems, and I want more than anything to help. I truly and honestly love to be the person they talk to and share with, the person to help them feel a little better. But I know that first, I must refill my cup. 

Thinking of it as a cup to fill helps me remember that self care is necessary to keep doing what I love. It is not selfish or silly. I need it to do my job. I need it to be the kind of friend, colleague, and family member I want to be. I need it for my sanity. I need it to continue as a PCV for the next 14 months. I wanted to share this with you because I think it's important for everyone to practice self care, and to talk about it. We brag about our achievements at work or in our relationships, but we don't often take the time to talk about what we do for ourselves, and that can make it seem less important. It takes deliberate effort and often planning to engage in effective self care. I have been learning how to practice self care for several years now and I am no where close to having it all figured out. But every day that I try is a day that I love myself and remind myself I am worthy of that love. 

Self care for me involves routines. I didn't have many routines in undergrad and I did not realize how much they help me until getting here. Before work in the morning I do a bit of stretching and ab work to wake up my body. I make sure to eat breakfast, wash my face, and I try to put together an outfit I'm proud of complete with makeup and jewelry. I can go weeks without cute outfits, makeup, or jewelry, but I notice that when I go to work looking my best I actually feel better equipped to succeed at my job, especially considering I'm so much younger than all of my colleagues. This is something I did not expect but now I value it when I put the effort in. 

During work I give myself moments to sit and breathe and clear my mind, especially if I'm working on a difficult case. Those micro moments of mindfulness help me get through my day. I also try to have at least one conversation with a colleague that is not work related so I can have a bit of extraverted time. 

After work I let myself soak in the wifi until I have exhausted all of my notifications. Normally this involves twitter, but last week I had my friend change my password for a bit of a twitter detox. The world has been extremely negative the last few months and it was starting to take a toll on me. I signed off to gain perspective, focus more on my present location and situation, and to check out of the negative news cycle while trying not to feel the guilt of not staying connected. 

Sometimes after work I dance with a colleague. If we don't dance, I make sure to practice yoga when I get home. When it is warm enough outside, I tend to lay in the hammock until the sun passes behind the hill, and I have taken many cat naps that way. My evening consists of any combination of coloring, writing letters, watching TV (currently, FRIENDS), and reading: all forms of self care. I make sure my daily food intake is comprised of at least 5 fruits and vegetables because taking care of my body physically is just as important to my self care as taking care of it mentally and emotionally. I practice piano and clean my kitchen each night after dinner, before journaling to close out the evening. 

Most of my self care is solitary, which is helpful since I live alone, but as an extravert I also have acknowledged the extreme value in Skype calls back home, phone calls to other volunteers, and either ranting or joking in group chats. Frequently planning activities with friends here also helps keep me from feeling isolated. 

All of things help me fill up my cup. I don't do all of them every day, but this month I check off seven every day, and if I get all seven I give myself a star. It is an adult sticker chart and it works better than any motivational tool I've ever tried. More than just the pride of doing these things for myself, I genuinely feel better when I do them. I sleep better and I am better prepared for each day. I still have bad days, but I no longer am waiting for someone else to come swooping in to fix my day or to hold me and tell me it'll all be okay. I have the tools now to make it all better myself, with a little help from my compassionate and incredible friends who let me talk through any painstaking moment I need to. 

In the past I would push myself and push myself until I crashed, hard, unable to help myself. Now I finally see how important it is for me to care for myself a little every day and to fill my cup up bit by bit so I prevent the crash from being as frequent or as hard. 

If you're reading this you are probably one of the people who encourages me, cheers me on, helps me when I'm down, and is a positive force on this journey. Thank you. Please ensure you give yourself as much love as you would give to the people in your life. You deserve it.